(I play a game 1 hour every Sunday and write what happens inaccurately. Currently I'm playing through Majora's Mask. See previous parts here.)
Last time, we ventured through the combing cooking and plumbing school to get to the boss, and stopped right in front of the door. Now it is time to see if we have mastered our cooking abilities.
So what are we going to get?
A giant fish? An octopus? A pipemonster? A big jelly?
A hole, first and foremost. This ended well last time we did this.
I fall down and land
There's literally no animation of Link landing, the character just snaps to the floor as he hits and stands, ignoring that he just fell 30 meters.
And then they reuse another thing from ANOTHER Ocarina boss fight:
Great. It's an amoeba again. I can't cook amoebas, game.
Or, I guess that's the challenge.
It wouldn't be something easy, otherwise I would not be able to prove my masterful cooking skills, now would I?
The camera swerves around a bit underwater until eventually charging at the platform and jumps out!
Oh, it's a... fish.
A Gargantuan Fish! A Masked Fish!
I love masked fish! It's a real delicacy in Hyrule.
See they feed exclusively on Kokiri kids, which is how they get their juicy, fat, mea--- wait
What am I supposed to do?
Fortunately, it is known in the great legends that masked fish are susceptible to arrow-fishing, which is how they all (almost) went extinct. Shooting them with an arrow stuns them, and they just lie haplessly on the floor, for a while.
For me to then swim down and hit them. Because arrows don't do damage. That would be too simple.
So this fight is a rhythm of shooting an arrow, equipping the Zora mask, swimming down, hitting him once, desperately trying to get up again before he swims faster than you can swim and just eats you anyway, up to the platform again and repeat.
When it doesn't work, it feels terrible. You feel both like a cat dumped in water and a fish on the shore at the same time.
But, when it does, it does feel kinda cool to swan dive into the ocean, snag a bite and gracefully jump out of the water onto the surface again.
Oh, and eventually he also does this:
Which is the true hallmark of any masked fish:
They can barf out more fish from their mouth.
That kinda stuff they only serve at the finest of establishments.
Slight anecdote: In the guide on how to defeat him, is described how you should do "Risky Zora Maneuvers", which are diving directly into the water and trying to hit him while he's swimming.
Risky Zora Maneuvers is the name of my new alt-punk band.
But I do get him even despite how I just play regular jazz (the small fish were, really, no threat), and he
lands on land
Man, this was a high quality masked fish. If they shrink, you know they were good.
And once again, Link wants the cadaver:
Which, here, makes a little more sense, I guess. We need something to cook, right?
But this still doesn't make a whiff of sense.
Oh right. I had forgotten. The Spirit Realm.
You should've learned by now that any words after "Hey, Listen" will not be listened to.
Wandering Running Man WILL NOT JOIN MY PARTY?
I See! We must! Tatl is on the case!
... was it?
Wandering Running Man is also YOUR Friend? Damn, he got friends in high places.
Tatl, once again, gets it. While Link stares aimlessly at the horizon.
And then we hear no more from the giant spooky ghost friends who can only want the best for us, and I'm teleported back in front of
The Laws of Ancient Times? What laws? You do realize that you're the only one who remembers these laws and you could thus say they demanded anything of you?
Right, Lulu's voice! Time to get the band back together!
Aw, yeah, they're all here. Let's boogie, New Wave Bossa Nova style.
So the eggs knew a song your mother used to play to you? That you had forgotten?
Oh, no you knew the song? And laid the eggs to remind you of that? How's that work?
Ok then, nevermind!
And here's a thing that doesn't work at all in still images! A song!
So let's just say I played for a bit and it was very snazzy.
Anyways, now I have some questions. Because the Indigogo's manager said they couldn't play at the carneval because Lulu had lost her voice. But she doesn't anymore! So, let's see what he has to say now!
One problem: Where is he? It's the final day.
He's not in the Milk bar, either, where the mayor's wife is:
Well, she takes the apocalypse fairly lightly.
That wasn't very fruitful. So I rewind and find him where I know he is, curious how the rewinding causes things to flesh out.
Quite, quite damp. Yes. They're merry, in fact. Wonderful, let's--
Yes, yes, I see that's all fine and dandy, but I don't need your business cards, because I can become the reincarnation of the band's guitarist, savvy?
Yes, yes, yes, I know. I can play it. With my guitar.
Aw, crap. Don't tell me.
Welp, there we go. Time travel, kids! It's fun and light hearted!
And on a whim, I say hi to the wife again, despite not expecting it to be anything.
Who? What? Locate? I'm not a tracker, woman. Unless you want me to track purple mushrooms. I got a mask for that, see.
Oh, you also have a mask.
...Of his face.
Of the face of the person who's missing.
That's... not creepy.
And wearing it will ask other people about him?
Just going up to random strangers and say "Have you seen me recently?"
Great. Great idea.
A "pro!" That's me. The pro.
Anyways, don't get sidetracked, to the singer!
Yep, she doesn't have a voice, indeed! Good thing I have just the cure for that.
I play the song again and she can now speak.
Time travel, is what's going on.
Okay, voice cured, back to the manager:
The dampest fins in town.
That's me. See? We're ready to play.
Hold on? You... don't believe it's me?
The only person who doesn't believe I'm Mikau is the person I need to believe it? Right.
And then he just talks about the ocean water being bad as if I didn't do anything about it. Which is great. I ain't doing the temple again.
So I guess it's time to find this Kafei person.
We, first, of course, ask the one and only person who would know:
Yes, I told you. He knows. Wandering Running Man is clearly hiding something. He's protecting our buddy. I get it. He doesn't want to reveal anything in front of other people. I hear him.
Yes, that's what I said. But I *don't* know where he is. *wink* Okay? I'm on *the good* side.
Works every time.
Oooh, secret kitchen meetings! My favourite kind of kitchens!
But we got the full day until that so I go around and ask some more questions about our boy.
Which is true. We already know where he is. Because going down to the "Laundry Pool", as it apparently is, and ringing the bell does summon a quite suspicious looking guy
but he just peeks out the door and runs back before I can act. He's also the one I see delivering a letter in the morning of the first day.
So he's definitely doing some secret spy shit. And Link's all about that secret service espionage. He started his entire career by seeing a princess spy on the throneroom. That's his bread and butter.
So time to meet up at the rendezvous:
What you got, lady? Speak in code, we ain't got all day:
Ahah, so you got a *letter*. I see. You mean a... symbol. A sign. He's going to do something to a letter. He's not following theh *letter* of the law. I'm with, I'm with. Keep going.
On a bright, clear day. To you... You'll... I'm following, I'm following.
You're giving me an actual letter?
Just... a letter. I can mail. No code?
Meet in big red important text font. Okay. You mean "meet". Like, I'll "get rid of" him. I get ya. You want him out your life. He's been sending "too many" letters.
Oh, I will. I will.
Got a letter! Time to go do spy crimes!
... Next time. Spies also need breaks.
See ya then!