(I play a game every Sunday and write what happens inaccurately. Currently I'm playing through Majora's Mask. See previous parts here.)
Last time, Link returned to his final form and got the whole world as his oyster once again, with one hell of an ocarina.
So it's time to hit the town and wreck shit up!
What a conclusion. I think you're right, Tatl. I think you may just be right. But there's a whole town right here!
I get four steps into town to explore when I notice something strange.
This little purple-haired pikachu-masked fellow ran up to a post box, dropped a letter, then ran away. I can't interact with them or anything, so I just followed them back to a door that was then locked.
Hmmm. That's a mystery...
...for another time! Link ain't got the time to ponder, time to find the only person we care about!
Oh, right, he's working now. Because it's morning. I guess we gotta do what Tatl told us to...
Tatl did hint that we should maybe check out the swamp first. And you know what swamps mean!
That's right: Mud skin care!
Link's gotta look good for the Big Night.
So, before we couldn't get out of town because the guards were doing the Mido Shuffle and blocking the way, but this time, I'm a Big Boy with a Little Sword, and now they're all like
That's right. You better stay in your place.
Oh, thank you, that's very kind. Now, you stay there like a good little guard and let me do my beautifying in peace.
Oh, ok, not quite sure what I expected, but it wasn't really this.
I get a little down the place when I notice a sign.
All right, to the ranch we go. But not before we hit a bunch of bushes and get some rupees. Until this...
...thievin' Bloody Bird comes and steals all my rupees. I had just gotten like 13, and it comes and swoops them all away from me, the fucker. You can kinda hit it again to get some of them back, but it never seems to drop all of them no matter how many times I hit it, so I just gave up.
To the ranch!
Uh, what are you doing?
Oh, I see.
People are being real nice today. This is way nicer than Hyrule, so far.
But his "quickly" is a bit of an overstatement and I'm not about to wait for that. I turn and walk away when I spot something strange in the sky.
Whatcha doin' up there, Tingle?
I put on the Bubble Mask and shoot him down from the sky, which he doesn't seem to mind at all. He just want to sell me maps. But the rupee situation, as per a certain bird, is a little rough, so I let him be, and instead take a side path away from the Ranch.
This is the Gorman Track, and these are the Horse Bros. They are called this because
they want me to have a "horse". Which is a ludicrous idea, so I almost walk away in spite, but not before talking to the other Bro
Fresh Milk, you say? Well, I'm in. Maybe they'd let me into the Private Milk Society or whatever it was called if I have Milk.
Ohohoh, we got some inter-farm beef!
... or, milk, actually. But you know what I mean.
Anyways, I don't have enough money to buy their Premium milk, so I boogie off and explore the rest of the swamp.
I don't get very far before Tatl suddenly begins reminiscing.
Oh, no, are we getting a Sad Skull Kid BackstoryTM?
Maybe Skull Kid is all right. Maybe he's just misunderstood. Maybe he just found a mask that was too powerful and he is unable to control it. Maybe it's all just a tragedy.
Oh, well, we got a swamp to explore!
Tatl, please. I know ALL back the Wolfos. Who do you think I am?! I'm LINK, Defeater of Wolves, Courage Inc--
--what did you say?
We traverse the swamps some more.
Don't worry, TingleWatchTM is in effect. He ain't escaping me.
And we made it to the southern swamp! That's probably impressive to someone.
Tourist Information, you say? Well, that's me. I'm a tourist. And I need information!
Hello, sir I have this list of questions. First, where is the spa, I was told--
Excuse me? Oh snap, this is...
This is Tingle's father. Huh. He talks about his child playing at being a fairy. And selling maps.
I'm so taken aback by this revelation that it takes me even longer to process his next words.
Pictograph I've taken? I haven't even gotten that side-quest yet, friend.
Oh, are they now? Scratch all other plans, we're entering a Pictograph Contest!
What can I win?
Free Boat Cruise!? Hell, yeeppee I'm in! Where do I sign up?
...Turns out, that's not so easy. Because in order to enter the Pictograph contest, I need a Pictograph (to take pictures), and in order to get that... I need to go on the boat cruise?
What? That seems like some shady business practices. But Link wasn't made of caution, so we head over to "that window" (which is an all-dark counter to the side) and ask to get some tickets.
Wait, what? They're sure not making it easy to partake in this Contest. Well, that just means there are fewer contestants, and I have a greater chance of winning! All sounds good to me.
Now the one problem: Where's this Magic Hag's Potion Shop?
Well, that looks like a nice place for a boat cruise, don't you say?
Right? Yeah, that's what I thought too.
Well, you're wrong.
That's where the Magic Hag's Potion Shop is.
Which I found out after 15 minutes of wandering around the swamps without any luck. But, turns out, you can swim (or skip, if you're NUTTY LINK) across the lily pads there and get to another area. That's not the river for the boat cruise.
All, right, here I come!
There she is! That's a Gerudo Witch if I ever saw one! Last time I saw those, they shot fire and ice at me! And they were also Ganon's surrogate mothers, so who knows what this one is!
I don't get to find out immediately, because as soon as she sees Link, she buggers off. (understandably, I haven't had my skin care yet.)
And she goes into the...
Ferocious... Turtles? Ok, I'm ready to fight turtles. However ferocious they may be!
...? Is that a turtle? I feel like I skipped a biology lesson?
Oh, ok! Sure, monkey! Let's go!
Oh, crud! That's it! The legendary Ferocious Turtle!
It doesn't look so dangerous now, maybe, but it huddles up and gets spikes everywhere, and then spins around like a spinning top! Very ferocious, indeed.
But I mostly ignore them and follow the monkey to the... witch!
Yes. Very rude of you to just disappear when I'm knocking on your shop. Have you heard of customer service? I will file a complaint with your manager after this.
Yep! Hand over the goods, lady.
...Is it? I don't know who that is. Sounds like a You problem.
But, apparently, she won't let this "Koume" go, so I need to act like a nice guy and find her.
Turns, out it's not that hard. I just go back out and follow the monkey again, and it leads me straight to her.
Ah, they are two witches again. How do I know they're not the same two witches?? I don't trust them.
She's not in the greatest shape. And (obviously) she blames Skull Kid. Who doesn't, at this point? Maybe you oughta see things from his perspective sometimes, huh? Ever thought of that? No, last time I met you, you weren't that bright either, so I'm not surprised.
Something that gives you energy?
Witch, please. I don't even have 4 hearts. What do you want from me?
But she doesn't want to let it go, or be let go, so she just keeps lying there, waiting for someone to come help her.
So I guess I have to find something that gives energy! To a witch! No idea what that could be, but I know just the place to look.
So, next episode, we're going back to town!
For, possibly, the first mildly heroic deed of the game!
Except, we're doing it all to get a boat ride to get a camera so we can get a free boat ride coupon. And we're now running away from an ailing old woman in the woods!
"Have fun lying there!"
Read Part 5 here.